Escaping the Vortex

Sorry I've been away so long. After several weeks without either computer or internet due to various circumstances, I stayed away from good old 208 Sunrise Court, not writing much of anything. It is amazing how a computer takes on life. A computer has such large presence; it is a lover with great stamina. Maybe these are just feelings connected to addiction. Maybe others have a more balanced relationship with their computers. But for me, having my computer back has been mostly a drowning experience: my days and nights are filled with Netflix movies, Youtube videos and Twitter updates (my recent favorite being The Fly Guys). So now I am trying to get back to blogging.

It has also occurred to me that I've been spending a lot of money recently, much more than I was a couple of months ago. My money management has been off. Today I realized why. I am in the middle of about six different, life-altering projects- everything from changing my wardrobe and hair, to organizing my stuff, to starting work-related projects, to traveling, to attempting to date (which is not so scary but much weirder than I imagined.) The result is chaos. My room looks like Niecy Nash should come in with a professional crew. And what makes me feel better when life is spinning in a vortex seemingly beyond my control? A cozy bed and my computer. See! Everything is full circle.

It would make much more sense to stop trying to do everything at once, right? To take it one or two projects at a time- maybe two per week. Therefore, I think I'll have to step out of the New York mindset that says "if you're on time, you're late," i.e. if you aren't prepared right now you can't take the golden opportunities that are present right now. Instead, I have to go back to my Georgia roots and believe in seasons again. There is a biblical passage, which I believe is a part of the Ecclesiastes, that tells us, "There is a time for everything under the sun." ::sigh:: Who wants to wait for the seasons? I can't wait for winter to end. I'm ready for spring right now! Yet, if the earth were like me, trying to do winter and spring and summer all at once, she might look as out-of-control as my messy, HGTV-worthy room. ::sigh again::

So, to escape the vortex I begin with small steps, the smallest ones first. And then I expand to the larger things. I have to practice slowing my pace without coming to a screeching halt, like parking my tush in front the computer all weekend.

-Adulthood is filled with so many thin lines.-